Family is and will be mysterious in the canals it forms. And as an outsider floating along it appears to be rapids at every turn. I tend to be more of a surveyor than a guide, or a rower, or a rudder or captain.

I can't escape trying to throw family members the life preserver when I think they need it. But a life preserver to some might as well be a noose or an anchor (if I keep up the nautical metaphor). They flick it away like a gnat. With arrogance and allure.

Do I toss another or wait and see if they sink or swim? Or even take someone else down with them? I get confused with this sort of lot. I'm helping. Knock knock. H E L P I N G. See, I would be the one waving their hands fanatically -"throw it here!" So it's hard for me to grasp the idea that someone drowning in their choice if words would not grasp at the opportunity to be freed. But that's just me.

Then there is the family member being towed behind the ship by shoe laces woven in their hair refusing to tap out. Your being drowned. Hello? I have extra life vests that so-in-so over here is refusing. But they shy away, water gushing up the nostrils and take the verbal abuse. Timidly laughing it off and requesting more. People please you are not a fish lure.

And then there is the Captain. The family member with the plan. The vision. The insight. The mouth. I've had my share of family 'events' and I can't recall a captain without a bullhorn voice that needs to be heard. One that speaks when not spoken to. One in the know. One that is correct. At all cost, usually. There becomes no bloodline strong enough, no bonds, no history. Really no strategy. Pretty much flippant tongue art in Picasso time. Never been a huge fan of the captain. That said, I am drawn to their inability to absorb surrounding climates. Kind of a fascinating animae.

The real key to surviving the rapids is the First-Mate. Isn't that the number two? This is the family member who is setting "appropriate" seating charts and not combative ones....or ones allowed to seated by the throw of the dice. These are the people who know how to scoop a net full of chums for a specific purpose to get a job done. "You, you, and you - we need an extension in this table. Get on it. ". The First-Mate also reads the compass well and gets everyone to row in harmony and in the right direction.

And these are the people that are personally interested in every crew member and the crew is genuinely interested in them. Sometimes a family has more than one First-Mate. Those are the lucky ones. (Sometime nil-ack)

Yes families are interesting and the more you know -well ... Interests can intersect.... f----- -vagueness.

I had a great family reunion. Outsider, periscope in one hand and camera in the other.